May 9th 2012

Well the facebook fan page is growing with likes. I hope to get this thing up and running. I just need material from soldiers to put into this book. I know it will take some time, but it will happen. Thank you all for reading my blog and reading my poetry.

May 7th 2012

Hello to all of my blog followers. It has been a while since the last time I have posted anything to my blog. I have been doing a lot of soul searching and changing. I have came off all of my medications and now staring a new life. I have an idea on a book I want to get together called 'Art of Warriors'. In this book I want to include other warfighters poetry, pictures drawn and short stories. If you are a warfighter, retired, still serving or have served and want to share your poetry and or other things please...PLEASE let me know via e-mail. Thank you all very much!
Mike

30 Nov 2011

sorry its been so long since ive been on here, Ive been really busy with other things to help take my mind off of PTSD and focus more towards PTG (post traumatic growth) inner healing. Thank you all for following!

Angered and blinded

Angered and blinded

(Mike Wheatley)

Angered and blinded by my own inner rage,

Feeling like a beast, locked up in a cage.

In a mental hospital apparently “I went INSANE!”

Swinging and punching on the walls, not feeling the pain,

Something else it feels is controlling my brain.

I’ve completely blacked out... gone totally insane,

PTSD, anxiety and depression is what’s bringing on this pain.

I begin to look at my arm the array of different veins,

To myself I’m thinking “This is going to be easy, just a little bit of pain.”

So with my fingernail I start to scratch and dig, trying to reach any vein,

 “If I have to suffer from this PTSD, these people are going to suffer with me.”

I’m thinking this to myself as I’m looking the nurses in their eyes,

I scratch, I dig trying to get inside, and veins I’m hoping to reach eventually I’ll die.

I’ve completely blacked out and tears are flooding my eyes,

This is the time I wish to finally say my goodbyes.

But…the meds that that were given to me finally take effect,

Stopping me from committing, this bodily defect.

Just a PTSD moment

Just a PTSD moment

(Mike Wheatley)

(Special thanks to Boone Cutler for the inspiration)

Every day is just a moment in time.

No matter the situation…it's just a PTSD moment in your life.

Depression consumes your mind today and you felt like ending your life,

Suicide seems the greatest option, then while thinking how it will impact your children’s life,

You put down the knife.

BUT…Today is another day; it's just a PTSD moment in your life.

Feeling hostile wanting to go on a murderous rampage,

Taking away lives from those who smile, then you realize.

 BUT…Today is another day; it's just a PTSD moment in your life.

Waking up from a nightmare in a cold shivering sweat, dreaming of the bloody warfare.

The day feels ruined, now you can't focus right, anyone steps into your path you wish to fight,

BUT…Today is another day; it's just a PTSD moment in your life.

In a crowded store with loud noises and sounds,

Looking at your watch anxiously waiting as time counts down.

You’re beginning to sweat and heart begins to pound,

You walked in the store with a smile that is now a frown.

BUT…Today is another day; it's just a PTSD moment in your life.

Driving in your car, mind is in a haze,

You’re approaching an overpass having a flashback reminiscing of the days,

Terrorist had demonic tricky ways.

Without warning crossing other lanes,

Other drivers flipping the bird, looking at you like you’re the one insane.

BUT…Today is another day; it's just a PTSD moment in your life.

Even just walking the city streets, feeling eyes are peering on you,

Cover and concealment is the instinct that’s been instilled into you.

To a place you try to hide hoping get these eyes off of you,

This is your mind making you feel that way, it’s true.

BUT…Today is another day; it's just a PTSD moment in your life.

...IZED

...IZED

(Mike Wheatley)

I've been traumatized, desensitized, hospitalized and institutionalized.

When are people gonna realize I've seen chaos with these eyes.

Sitting here being institutionalized for all the shit that has traumatized my eternal state of mind.

One day I will find some peace of mind, and deal with my regrets.

But right now, it's a big challenge to cope with my regrets.

I'll take a chance and make a bet with hopes that one day I'll forget.

The shit I've been through, the shit I've seen, wishing my life were just a bad dream.

It tears at my spirit and rips up its being; I just want to feel once more

Like a human FUCKING BEING!

I have no heart, I have no feeling, my heart is separating from my physical being.

The life I've seen, life I've lived, has made my live depressing.

I close my eyes; I can see the things that have slipped away from me.

So, here I lay just one more day as time just seems to fade away.

I came to this place to find some peace and overcome some grief.

But as I await my eternal fate, I will see one day that life is great and hopefully overcome this mental state.

Once my time here is finally past, I just hope this treatment last.

I don't want to live anymore...in my ugly past

16 August 2011

Today...Hurt.
That is about it. Heart was heavy, soul is dreary.
Thinking a lot of my lost friend Wilkerson. I can't seem to let go of the loss.