Angered and blinded

Angered and blinded

(Mike Wheatley)

Angered and blinded by my own inner rage,

Feeling like a beast, locked up in a cage.

In a mental hospital apparently “I went INSANE!”

Swinging and punching on the walls, not feeling the pain,

Something else it feels is controlling my brain.

I’ve completely blacked out... gone totally insane,

PTSD, anxiety and depression is what’s bringing on this pain.

I begin to look at my arm the array of different veins,

To myself I’m thinking “This is going to be easy, just a little bit of pain.”

So with my fingernail I start to scratch and dig, trying to reach any vein,

 “If I have to suffer from this PTSD, these people are going to suffer with me.”

I’m thinking this to myself as I’m looking the nurses in their eyes,

I scratch, I dig trying to get inside, and veins I’m hoping to reach eventually I’ll die.

I’ve completely blacked out and tears are flooding my eyes,

This is the time I wish to finally say my goodbyes.

But…the meds that that were given to me finally take effect,

Stopping me from committing, this bodily defect.