Once Was

Once was

(Mike Wheatley)

I once was a happy person, I used to be me.

 That was before I was diagnosed with severe chronic PTSD.

 I would have rather been killed than to live with what I’ve seen,

 I have tried EVERYTHING in my power…to wipe my memory clean!

 I never want to remember the horrible things that I’ve seen.

I wish I could take my eyes out and throw them away,

Because it is what I have seen that has made me this way;

I want all the visions, flashbacks and nightmares to go away.

 I tried to take my life to not live in pain.

 My boots, my clothes and hands have been blood stained,

The image of his pain will forever be burnt into my brain;

I would have done anything to have taken away his pain!

To see a brother injured, suffering in pain is enough to drive the strongest man,

Completely…insane.

I tried all in MY power to help ease his pain,

Telling him one last time, he’ll see his family again.

Hours tic by as if it were eternity,

Informed of his final departure…to the heavens sky.

I fall to my knees, a tear flows from my eye,

Then I just have to ask the lord

Why?